Leadership
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A lot goes on automatic pilot
Most people tend to “react primarily”, as it is called. In other words, their behavior is largely automatic, they just react to the emotion without their behavior being a conscious choice. All these kinds of ready-made solutions are there for a reason: they increase our chances of survival. Very long ago, survival would mean dealing…
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Emotions are always present
It is not reason (cognition) that is leading in how people make decisions and behave, but emotion. In your conversations, you therefore focus on emotion. The other person will not always show their emotion, perhaps because they do not know, understand or are not able to show their own emotions. Even if the other person…
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Be authentic!
As for authenticity, how do you feel about someone faking? Someone who overtly applies a trick to elicit a certain response from you? For most people, this arouses suspicion, a thought of, ‘What do they want from me?’ Therefore, be yourself. When the other person feels that your behavior (read: your communication) is in line…
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Get curious!
If during the conversation you are busy with your conversation techniques, thinking about how you are going to react, weighing up whether now is the right time to intervene, being annoyed by certain behavior of your co-worker, thinking about what the other person may think of you, and so on, you are not busy with…
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Conversation versus Dialogue
Observational listening can be applied to all kinds of different types of conversation. The characteristic of a dialogue, however, is that there is equality between the conversational partners. As a leader, you want to engage in dialogue with your team members as much as possible (both individually and in team meetings). Yes, sometimes you will…
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Walk your talk
As a leader, you are a role model for your team. You cannot expect your team members to act a certain way if you do not walk your talk. The rules you follow in turn are based on your organization’s core values. By the way, this does not mean that you cannot be authentic –…
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Working too hard?
If you are working too hard in a conversation, lean back a bit. Whether you lean towards the team member or sit back in your chair, both reflect a different posture. And as Leary (1957) says: behavior evokes behavior. If you want to give your team member the idea that you are listening carefully, it…
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You cannot not communicate
Invariably ignoring someone, for example, sends an unmistakable message. Even when you say nothing, different meanings can be given to your silence from the context of the situation, your body posture, your facial expressions, and so on. Become an Excellent Leader! Get your free e-book now by subscribing below. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash
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Stress is healthy
In her TED talk, health psychologist Kelly McGonigal tells us about a study by Keller, et al (2012) which shows that it is not stress itself, but the belief that stress is unhealthy that has negative health consequences. People who experience a lot of stress and believe that stress is not unhealthy for them have…