Leadership
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Is your truth the only correct one?
If you are convinced that your truth is the one correct one, there is no room (nor need) for the other person’s expertise. When you are curious, you accept that you only know your own perspective on the topic of conversation. You are curious for more, you actually start to appreciate the other person’s perspective.…
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Stop thinking about how you want to respond
You really don’t have to agree with everyone, nor act on everyone’s opinion. While you are listening to your co-worker, stop thinking about how you want to respond. Suppress the tendency to correct, raise objections or defend your own views. Leave out the word ‘but’ as much as possible. Listen. Let a short silence fall.…
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Safety is key!
A team member can only really pay proper attention to work when they feel comfortable, when they feel (psychologically) safe. So how do you create a safe environment for your team? How do you ensure that people can freely share their observations and their (professional) critical comments without heads immediately rolling? Safety is the magic…
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Difficult people?
An important insight is that difficult people do not exist, only behavior that you dislike or find annoying. Your emotions (including feeling annoyed at another person’s behavior) are a product of your history. What that other person does (and what you dislike) comes from theirs. And that is exactly your job: to see beyond your…
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Power struggles?
In a power struggle, there are only losers, so avoid discussing who is right, because no one ever wins that discussion. And even if you prove you are right, it reduces the other person’s willingness to do what you want them to do. Demands and ultimatums usually backfire because the discussion is a power struggle.…
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No organization without communication
This applies to both external communication (how does the outside world know what the organization has to offer) and internal communication (how could a product or service be created without communicating within the organization). An important part of that internal communication is on an interpersonal level: how people communicate among themselves ultimately determines how, what…
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No emotions in business?
I still hear people say: In business, no emotions. Imagine a life in which you experienced no emotions at all. Would you be unhappy? No, because that is an emotion. Would life be boring? Neither that. Experiencing no emotion means no experience. Emotions have meaning. Emotions give meaning to your life, they tell you what…
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Excellent leadership is about wellbeing
As far as I am concerned it is beyond doubt that #excellent #leadership is about #wellbeing. The wellbeing of everyone else in the organization with whom you have contact and, at the same time, your own wellbeing. Primarily, however, it is about the wellbeing of your team members. If team members are happy, that is…
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Listening is asking curious questions instead of telling
As the Dalai Lama puts it, ‘When you speak, you only repeat what you already know; but when you listen, you can learn something new’. Edgar Schein (2013) argues that Western culture is a culture of telling. He advocates a humble questioning culture that leads to greater mutual understanding between people. Schein’s premise fits entirely within…
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Excellent leadership starts with observational listening
Excellent leadership begins by giving team members sincere attention, attention and more attention. This means listening to them! Listening is different from hearing. Hearing is done with your ears, listening with your brain. With your brain you give meaning to what you hear, see, feel, taste and smell. You can listen with a closed or…